Creating your wedding guest list can be one of the most emotionally tricky parts of planning your big day, especially if you’re trying to balance your dream celebration with a realistic budget.
Whether you’re planning a countryside wedding in the Cotswolds, a chic London city ceremony, or a seaside celebration in Cornwall, guest numbers matter.
Every name on that list equals another meal, another chair, another table setting—and potentially hundreds of pounds more in your overall budget.
So, how do you decide who makes the cut without ruffling feathers?
Whether you’re inviting 40 or 140 guests, here’s a step-by-step guide to trimming your UK wedding guest list with confidence, grace, and minimal awkwardness.
How To Create Your Wedding Guest List
Step 1: Start With Your Wedding Budget
Before you even think about sending out save-the-dates or browsing venues in Kent, Sussex, or Yorkshire, set a clear wedding budget.
The size of your guest list will directly affect your overall spend, from catering and drinks to favours and stationery.
If you’re wondering “How many guests should I invite to my UK wedding?” the answer comes down to what you can reasonably afford.
The average cost per guest in the UK can range from £80–£150 or more, depending on your venue and catering choices. Multiply that by 20 or 30 extra people, and you’re easily looking at several thousand pounds more.
That’s why it’s important to plan your guest list, venue, and budget together.
If your ideal wedding venue in the Lake District has a maximum capacity of 60, but your list is at 90 and growing, you’ll either need to cut numbers or consider a different space.
Also, if your parents or in-laws are contributing financially, sit down with them early on to discuss expectations.
It’s common in UK weddings for family members to request certain guests. So, having that conversation upfront helps avoid stress later.
Step 2: Prioritise Your Inner Circle
Begin your list with the people you couldn’t imagine your day without – your “must-haves.”
This typically includes immediate family, grandparents, and lifelong friends. These are your VIPs – the ones who have been part of your journey and will likely play key roles in your ceremony or reception.
Once you’ve created your core list, think carefully before expanding.
Do you really want your third cousin from Wales, whom you haven’t seen since you were 12? Or your old uni flatmate from Newcastle, whom you haven’t spoken to in five years?
Ask yourself:
- When was the last time we spoke?
- Would I be upset if I weren’t invited to their wedding?
- Will I have time to meaningfully connect with them on the day?
The more honest you are, the easier this step becomes.
Step 3: Rethink the Plus-Ones
A common dilemma for UK couples is whether to give guests the option of bringing a plus-one.
The best way to handle this? Set a clear boundary.
We recommend offering plus-ones to guests who:
- Are married or engaged
- Live with their partner
- Have been in a long-term relationship (1+ years)
This approach feels fair, especially if you apply it consistently.
For single guests or those just dating casually, it’s perfectly acceptable not to extend a plus-one invite, especially if you’re trying to keep your numbers low.
Step 4: Consider a Child-Free Wedding
The topic of children at weddings is often a hot one in the UK.
Some venues (especially luxury manors or countryside estates) aren’t ideal for young children, and many couples are opting for child-free celebrations to keep the atmosphere relaxed and adult-friendly.
If this is the route you choose, be clear and kind in your communication.
A simple note on your invitation or wedding website can do the trick:
“We love your little ones, but we kindly ask that our wedding be an adults-only occasion.“
Many guests will understand – and might even welcome the excuse for a night off!
Step 5: Be Cautious With Your B-List
It’s common to have a backup or “B-list” of guests to invite if some of your A-list guests decline.
This can be helpful, especially for destination weddings across the UK or elopements where RSVP drop-off is expected.
That said, timing is key. If you’re considering inviting B-list guests, send your A-list invites early (ideally six months out).
Then, if you get a few regrets, you can follow up with B-list invites at least 12–16 weeks before the big day.
Be careful with friend groups. Don’t invite just one person from a close-knit group if you can’t invite them all. It can lead to hurt feelings and unnecessary drama.
Step 6: Be Willing to Cut Ties (Gently)
Here’s your permission slip: you don’t have to invite everyone. This includes:
- Old school friends you haven’t spoken to in years
- Distant cousins you only see at weddings or funerals
- Casual work colleagues you barely interact with
If you’re worried about workplace etiquette, why not plan a low-key pub gathering after the honeymoon?
That way, you still get to celebrate with your professional circle without using up precious wedding seats.
Likewise, don’t feel pressured to invite someone just because they invited you to their wedding years ago. Times, relationships, and priorities change.
Step 7: Take Your Time
Your wedding guest list affects everything – from your venue capacity to catering to overall atmosphere.
So don’t rush through it. Instead, work through your list over a few days, revisit it with your partner, and keep an eye on how it aligns with your budget and vision.
Use a spreadsheet to track names, RSVP status, dietary requirements, and seating preferences. And keep revisiting the list as your plans evolve—this is especially helpful if you’re planning a UK wedding across multiple venues or events (like a church ceremony followed by a marquee reception).
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How many guests should I invite if I have a small budget?
The number of guests you can invite depends on your total budget, venue capacity, and the cost per person for catering. A good rule of thumb is to prioritise your close family and friends while keeping your overall budget in mind.
2. Is it possible to adjust my guest list even after sending out invitations?
While it can be awkward, it is possible to adjust your guest list. If circumstances change, such as venue capacity or budget changes, communicate the updates to your guests as soon as possible.
Make It Your Day
At the end of the day, your wedding should reflect you, i.e., your relationship, your values, and the people who mean the most to you.
Whether you’re throwing a lavish affair in central London or a micro-wedding in the Scottish Highlands, you have every right to create a guest list that works for your day.
Yes, it can feel uncomfortable to say no, but protecting your budget and your peace of mind is more important. Be honest, be kind, and remember: this is a celebration of love, not a popularity contest.
Planning a UK Wedding and Looking for a Photographer Who Gets It?
If you’re working on your dream day and want relaxed, meaningful photography that captures your love without the awkward poses, get in touch with Big Day Productions.
We specialise in natural UK wedding photography across London, the South East, the Midlands, and beyond.
Let’s capture your day the way it truly felt. Contact us today!
